You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience

Deran Young, a therapist and facilitator, recalls her son coming home from school one day, crying because he wished he was white. Young, who is committed to the message of Black Lives Matter and the unpacking of racial trauma, felt that she had done something wrong. As a child, Young experienced sexual abuse and periods of homelessness. She has seen firsthand how white supremacy impacts families and her communities. Although she wanted to protect her son, Young realized that it was most important for her to validate his feelings and to name the thing that made him feel that way—racism.

Young argues that racial trauma pervades Black communities. Trying to navigate white supremacy means that Black individuals feel they must put on a suit of armor and use code-switching, a technique that Young says requires the denial of a person’s core self. Vulnerability is seen as a weakness, something that might render a person at risk. Young asserts that this armor also keeps Black people from making connections with others and from being vulnerable with themselves. Young explains that her Black patients often have difficulty engaging with their emotions and vulnerability.