The Silent Patient

A quotation from Sigmund Freud prefaces Part 2: “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive, and will come forth later, in uglier ways” (61).

The first chapter of Part 2 consists of excerpts from Alicia Berenson’s diary, ranging from July 16-21. Alicia writes about the heat wave in London at the time, noting that it reminds her of the summer her mother died and of playing outside with Paul Rose, her cousin, as a girl. Remembering her mother, she says she always smelt of Nivea hand cream and shampoo—as well as cigarettes and an undertone of vodka, implying that Eva may have had a drinking problem (64). On the day of Eva’s death, she strapped Alicia into the passenger seat of her yellow car (Alicia now associates the color yellow with death) and then drove the car straight into a brick wall.

Alicia reflects on the creative block she is experiencing with her latest painting, a composition of Jesus on the cross. She has gotten stuck painting the face and now realizes why—because it’s not the face of Jesus but of her husband, Gabriel. She decides she simply needs Gabriel to sit for her as a model.