The Nine Billion Names of God

Narrator Harry Purvis is well known in the White Hart pub as the teller of tall tales. This is one of his finest. Hercules Keating is a short, small man who never lived up to his name. He keeps almost entirely to himself, preferring the company of his beloved plants. His only relative is his gruff aunt Henrietta. She breeds large dogs, smokes cigars, and towers over him at six feet tall. Though he is polite and tolerates her affections and weekly visits, he cannot stand her. Eventually, he grows to hate her brash manner and patronizing attitude toward him. Some days he hates her so much he feels like murdering her.

One day, Hercules receives a strange orchid. At first, he is sure it is a dud. But after a month or so, it has grown and begins to behave strangely. Hercules goes to the library and rereads H. G. Wells’s story, “The Flowering of the Strange Orchid.” Hercules realizes that he has in his possession a carnivorous orchid. Once home, he tests his theory by attaching a piece of fresh meat to a broomstick. Sure enough, the plant extends its tendrils and snaps up the meat.