The First Ladies

“I grew up believing that I had to apologize for the unpleasantness of my existence, that somehow, someway, I must find a way to prove my worthiness.”

Eleanor’s authentic, vulnerable voice gives her depth, and her backstory helps readers empathize with her. The belief that she needs to prove herself provides a motivating factor for Mary’s high achievement in all aspects of her life and career. Ironically, her gift of black roses to her students is to remind them of their inherent worthiness; she does not want them, as she did, feeling their worth must be earned or proven.

“‘You may have never, but I have. Women and men like this pass through my life every day,’ [Mary says]. Her voice holds no anger or even frustration.

‘It’s unacceptable, and I want to apologize.’

‘You must never apologize for a sin someone else has committed,’ she says with a shake of her head.”

The theme of friendship begins with Mary calmly explaining that she is accustomed to being treated with disrespect by white people. She reclaims her power by staying calm and self-possessed and by pursuing the mutually beneficial connection with Eleanor. She knows she can effect more change through that partnership than by getting angry with racist white women.

“I was only a young girl when I discovered that a happenstance of birth, nothing but skin color, could deem a person a blessing or a burden.”

Mary reflects on her first realization of racism, noting that skin color is simply a “happenstance”—but it determines the forces that will shape one’s life. She recognizes that skin color has no true connection to her worth, even if there are social constructs designed to convey otherwise.