The Bald Soprano

The play opens on a middle-class English couple, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, conversing from their respective armchairs in their home in suburban London. Mr. Smith smokes and reads the newspaper while Mrs. Smith darns socks. It is evening and the clock has just struck 17 times, signaling nine o’clock.

Mrs. Smith tells Mr. Smith in detail about the meal the two just ate—including soup and fish and chips, and English water for their children—while Mr. Smith silently reads his newspaper and clicks his tongue. He only speaks up when Mrs. Smith begins talking about Doctor Mackenzie-King, who recently operated on his own liver in preparation for operating on someone named Parker. Mackenzie survived, while Parker died during the operation. The couple disagrees about whether Dr. Mackenzie is a good or bad doctor.

Mr. Smith informs Mrs. Smith that Bobby Watson is dead, according to the newspaper. However, they know he’s been dead for two years, since they attended his funeral. In fact, his death was announced three years ago and he died four years ago.

Things get even more confusing when the couple discusses Bobby’s wife, also named Bobby Watson. Mrs. Smith notes how their shared names make it impossible to visually tell the two apart.