Snapshots of a Daughter-in-Law

The poem presents the idea that marriage is an oppressive and patriarchal social institution; further, its oppressive nature is seen as directly influenced by its patriarchal roots.

Thusly, the poem opens with a snapshot of a woman many years into marriage, which is highlighted by how Rich likens the dimming of her mind to the “moldering” (Line 7) of a wedding cake. The choice of analogy is not accidental: Rich draws attention to the event marking the beginning of the mind's decay—the wedding. By entering into marriage, a woman ensures that her intellectual faculties and other talents will never again be used. Rich even labels the experiences garnered over the years of marriage as “useless” (Line 8) and leading to negative behavior stereotypically seen as female: gossip, jealousy, and a loss of touch with reality. Similar to how consuming “rich” (Line 8) and “heavy” (Line 8) wedding cake makes one feel lethargic, a woman’s mind becomes similarly slow and dull, unable to further comprehend reason and rationale.

Rich’s opinion of marriage and how it adversely affects women is again presented in Section Eight. In a subversion of Diderot’s idea that women die at 15 because they lose their purity though experiences with men, Rich suggests that the death is, in fact, owing to how marriage puts an end to their dreams and aspirations.