Sideways Stories from Wayside School

Dana has beautiful eyes. She wears glasses, but this only makes her eyes more beautiful. She is plagued, however, with mosquito bites all over her body. She complains to Mrs. Jewls that they itch, but Mrs. Jewls insists the class must do arithmetic. This leads to other students voicing complaints, such as being hungry or thirsty. Mrs. Jewls insists that the only way to combat the mosquito bites is with arithmetic. She poses various mathematical questions to the class, asking them to add mosquito bites. Finally, she asks them to add two larger quantities of mosquito bites: 49 plus 75. No one can come up with the answer, so Dana begins counting her mosquito bites. When she discovers that there are 49 on one side of her body and 75 on the other side, the bites stop itching. She is relieved that the solution involved math instead of spelling, certain she could never spell “mosquito.”

Jason is the student with the second-largest mouth in class, after Joy, who is always chewing gum. One day, he tattles on Joy for chewing gum, and Mrs. Jewls admonishes her. She heads to the chalkboard to write Joy’s name under “Discipline.