Reasons to Stay Alive

This chapter is a short list of 10 thoughts that appear during a panic attack, including “I am going to die,” “I am trapped,” and “I will never get over this” (97).

This is a list of 10 thoughts, including “I might die,” “I’ve been here before,” and “I will get over this” (98).

Haig considers the blended nature of his mental illness, which includes depression and anxiety exacerbated by obsessive compulsive disorder, agoraphobia, and separation anxiety. He recounts how distance walked independently became a measure of his progress. On one particular occasion, he challenges himself to go to the store for marmite by himself. The journey becomes an epic quest full of internal struggles. He learns that shops are some of the most difficult places for him due to a combination of factors, including lighting and aggressive advertising. He envies the cashier because she seems detached and unconcerned.