Apollo

Okenwa is the narrator and protagonist; he is a young, upper-middle-class man at the time the story begins and a 12-year-old child during the principal narrative action. His narrative voice is notable for its guilt, which intersects with a transactional view of relationships. He sees the act of caring for someone as an obligation rather than something done purely out of selfless love. As an adult, he takes care of his parents in their old age, but only because he feels he must “make amends.” As a child, he feels embarrassed and guilty about letting his parents care for him when he’s sick, so he tries to “will [him]self to get well quickly, to free them” (67). This is likely projection on his part. Okenwa sees himself as a burden on his parents, someone they are disappointed in and yet obligated to take care of—an attitude that stems from Okenwa’s insecurity. As a preteen first discovering his orientation in a culture that is deeply hostile to gay men, Okenwa has internalized deep shame.

In Okenwa’s relationship with Raphael, Okenwa feels free to be himself for the first time. Escaping the constant pressure of his parents’ expectations, he can enjoy

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